..I ChangeD..

I changEd alot.I became another gal that I was totally infamiliar with. I was an emotional gal and recently I do allow my emotional took control over my soul. I no more flirtin around OR joking n crappin with my Frens like nobody business. No mOre! Suddenly I found myself hardly breathe. This whole week, after work, I straight away going back home, close myself inside my bedroom..I need a small space to think Wat actually I need the MOst now. I loose all my moods to go out having dinner, yumcha or hanging around at nite.

I was so tired. I was so tired to force myself to be happy while I was in fact deeply depressed. I was so tired to ask my frens NO need to worry about me ALTHO I knew that they are concernin me sincerely. I was so tired to pretend myself like 'I'm alrite' instead I'm NOT.

I started to close my heart. I scared to be hurt. I scared to be pampered. I scared Someday somewhere I will lose my last and the only braveness and LOVe. I started to hesitated every words that come out from others' mouth, I was now hardly believ anyone except my dearest family members.

I can't sleep well for whole week. Lyin on the bed, straing at the ceilin, my brain was jz blank. I was once asking myself, Wat actually going ON, Wat actually I wan. Yeah, it seem to be an easy question, But i can't find a single answer for that.

Now I seldom chatting in YM. Hardly to make up myself to joke with my frens. I don't really hope every chat will end with an unpleasant feelin. I admitted that I seem cool n serious in every conversation recently. Sometimes will even ended up like arguein. My mood really too bad. I know i need to cheer up, as I always tell my frens '既然伤心也是一天，快乐也是一天，为什么不快快乐乐过一天？' Yeah..easy to say, when really wan to work this out, IT was so darn hard!

I need TIme! I need Time to think wat actually happen these days, Why these all things jz happen in my life. At the end, It mayb a SwEet endin, or perhaps a bitter one. I DO hope I can get the ANSWER soon. I don want to hear any lie. I don wan to be hide anything from anyone. This really HURT. I rather to get a TRUTH !

Plz tell me..